A Personal Perspective on Pantomime

Have you ever tried explaining the concept of pantomime to a non-Brit?

“Well, it’s based on a children’s story – but not always – and it involves loads of different characters; a Dame … which is always a man playing a woman with a huge bosom and a garish selection of wigs and frocks; a principal boy who is actually a girl – usually in tights and long boots; a demon or wizard who is trying to steal the beautiful girl; a simpleton or pair of them; a magic potion, lamp, cow or camel that everybody is trying to find; ghosts and spooks behind every piece of scenery; lots of sing-a-longs, chases, dancing for no reason, trips, custard pies, water and as many “behind you” and “Oh no he isn’t” opportunities as you can dream up. Oh, and kids … lots of them and all ages dancing, with the youngest doing what they want to …”.

Hmmm. I bet you lost them somewhere around the ‘… man playing a woman” bit. The Americans will assume it’s some bizarre take on ‘The Birdcage’ and the rest of the world will glance sideways and say to each other, “They’re British … they are like that”.

I remember being asked in an article what my take on it was, based on an Adjudicators perspective. This was my wordy reply: “What should a good pantomime be? It must be a tumbling and dancing profusion of colour, calamity and corny-ness, all delivered by a cacophony of caricatures that capture and retain the whole audiences’ interest. It must contain a solid and engaging story which is told through a well-blended mixture of song, silliness, slapstick, seasoned sketches, mild seaside sauciness and all tied together with genuine sincerity. It must gallop along at a breath taking pace with a plethora of added local references and topical songs, sketches and gags, consuming the youngest to the eldest in the audience and demanding their constant attention … and a good deal of their participation. But ALWAYS with an eye on the tradition and the handed down humour that makes panto a British institution.” A mouthful I know, but how do you encapsulate in a paragraph such an important aspect of our theatrical history that is a part of all of us?

What do you think it is? So many local companies perform it every year you would think the whole nation would be expert in it, wouldn’t you?

But from many years of ruminating and cogitating over all things musical and a good proportion of them being panto, it appears to me (IMHO) that many are losing sight of what this genre is.

No, you will be pleased to know that I am not going to degenerate into a history lesson, but I think that a good many local performers of this national institution need to take stock of the ‘what’, ‘why’ and ‘how’ of their panto’s.

To start with, if only I had a quid for every failed joke in a panto that has been followed by the deliverer predictably with “Oh well, suit yourselves”. Well actually, they did. Actually, they didn’t laugh because it wasn’t funny.

Sorry to be blunt, but many are missing the point.

I have an indicator in observing a panto that has never let me down yet. I listen for when the kids start talking. It is a fool-proof sign that the panto has lost their interest and being the most accurate critics around, kids are invariably right.

The next thing that always switches them off is clever humour. It makes a handful of adults smile and the odd one laugh, and I can guarantee that it was undoubtedly a hoot in rehearsal. Lesson one: a laugh in rehearsal amongst the company is not automatically replicated when presented to 37 Brownies; and “Oh well, suit yourselves” after it, doesn’t make them realise what they missed either.

Think about it. What makes kids laugh? I saw one recently that proved it for the umpteenth time.
The ‘comedy duo’ spent ten minutes on an uninspiring gag (two minutes into which the 5^th Beaver Troop were exchanging sweets) at the end of which the under 11’s in the audience suddenly screamed with laughter which made all of the remaining audience also laugh. The reason? He kicked him in the pants. Pure kiddie humour that has had us rolling around since the first yokel gained self employed status as something called a Jester.

It doesn’t have to be clever, it doesn’t have to be expensive, it just has to be plain old corny-daft-stupid-juvenile humour with an eye always on honesty and sincerity in delivery.

“But what about the adults?” I hear you cry. Well, have you ever noticed that we all have the ability in us to laugh and latterly, groan at kiddie humour? We never lose it and panto resurrects that primeval ability to laugh at the simple misfortunes of life and those who experience them. Add to that the fact there is nothing funnier in life than hearing a youngster REALLY laughing. It is so infectious and ultimately, catalytic for an audience.

My next bugbear is inane tracts of dialogue delivered between two uninspiring characters with no reference to the audience; it immediately disenfranchises them. Dialogue that seems to go nowhere and achieves nothing is an element of many (poor) scripts and there are a good deal of poor ones out there. But as with anything in theatre – and especially in pantomime – it is in the construction and delivery that it comes to life. A lot of the time, a panto loses pace and purpose at these points because the players face each other, talk to each other and consequently exclude the observers. How do you hold a conversation with another adult in which you want to involve the kids? Well, you bring them into it by turning statements into questions; you ask them directly about actions and seek reactions, you seek agreement and most important of all, you look at them. Not rocket science I know, but why do so many panto performers not do it? The list of key ingredients could go on and under the heading of ‘music’ are disclosed so many more issues that need careful thought and planning.

I have a rule of thumb that songs should be no more than 2 minutes or 2 verses – otherwise, you lose them again. Also, interpolated music or scripts that allow you to mix and match songs do it for a reason: to keep it topical. So, what are all the youngsters singing now? What, when you get in the car, causes the booster seat to come to life with lyrics? The skill is blending that with the well worn kid’s favourites … the downside is how many kids know the traditional children’s songs any more? It is a fine balancing act, but one that really does need thinking through and definitely not taking for granted.

Whilst I am on a soap box about music, where did the piano/keyboard chords and accompanying drum rolls/crashes disappear to? Remember them? The ones that accompanied the entrance of the Good Fairy and the menacing signature for the entrance of the Baddie? Similarly, every misfortune, slip, trip, slap, funny walk and/or appalling gag? They are an essential element of conditioning the audience when to laugh and what they are supposed to be finding funny! It’s like a formula; 1. There’s a gag coming (drum/cymbal roll) 2. This is the gag (piano chord) 3. That was the gag (drum/cymbal crash). It follows a historical, theatrical formula that subliminally signposts the route to inane, loveable can’t-help-it-but-laugh humour.

And for some reason, some companies still seem to think that panto characters are funny per se. I think not. For example, if the dame is just expected to generate hoots of laughter all night for simply being a bloke in a frock, think again. The components that are needed for sustainable laughter value are many: the timing, the asides, the animated facial expressions that are nearly choreographed, the exquisitely timed ad-libs, the retorts to the audience, the put-downs to the hecklers, the double-takes, the knowing glances, the balletic false eyelashes, the “Sissy & Ada” adjustment of the false bosom, the walk, the accent and never mind what the script provides … the list is endless.

It is interesting as well to remember that within panto, there is a wealth of historical and traditional gags and routines that many who work it well, know and have learned rote: the ghost gag, the echo gag, the tree of truth, Widow Twankey’s Laundry, the blackboard gag, the list again is endless and must literally go into the hundreds. Research them, learn them and work them. Add them into your scripts and better still, write your own. Research the repertoire and watch what others do well and not so well. Also, understand the characters and how they interact. Panto is a recipe of essential ingredients and optional flavourings to suit the palette, the pocket and the personalities of the performers – and not least of all, the expectations of the paying public.

Additionally, the basic building blocks in many pantomimes seem to have been taken out. When did slapstick die?! Where have all the custard pies gone? Whatever happened to the thunder-flashes, the smoke, the water, the false props that break, the trips, the prat-falls, the meaningless chases, all of which (and dozens more beside) make up that essential added business that some scripts no longer seem to give you, but which panto demands and most importantly, the audience expects. Much of it is the doing, the interpretation, the heritage. If you don't know, read a book! There are some belters out there from people who have been there, bought the t-shirt and probably worn the lashes!

And then there is the TRUE spirit of panto, which all productions should be striving to fundamentally encapsulate; the spirit of Christmas, the sentiment of the season, the goodwill, the festivities and the fun, but most of important of all, the magic. And by ‘magic’ I don’t mean the conjuring tricks and the gimmicks. It is that age-old, feel-good factor that is associated with the same mind set that really does make kids believe that Santa is real, that reindeers can fly, that good will and kindness are not one day-a-year qualities and all those other genuine human foibles that make it so charming and innocent and which can make kids in the audience sit wide eyed and open mouthed one second and scream with uncontrollable delight the next. Am I being overly romantic and unrealistic? I really don’t think so, but I do know one thing. Even trying to achieve that quality of ‘panto product’ is probably the hardest theatrical experience you will ever attempt and if you do achieve it, it is in my opinion, one of the most rewarding.

The final issue in this broad personal perspective on what makes a good panto, is keeping the story topical. Local references, personalities in the media that kids love to love or to hate, their catchphrases, their misfortunes, the stars, the cartoon characters, the shows on children’s TV, the sports stars, the pop stars, fashion, slang, the adverts that they annoyingly recite parrot fashion in the playground, there is a wealth of stuff to be going at to make your panto a success. They really are a contemporary snap shot of the tastes and traditions of ‘now’ and if you can capture just that aspect, you will be head and shoulders above many productions.

But most important of all, read it, see it, live it and then perform it through a child’s eyes – and please – keep crudity out. Saucy asides need intelligent construction and delivery and they are a world away from vulgarity. It takes immense thought and skill to get a belly laugh out of the adults for one gag because they got the innuendo and then giggles out of the kids who tuned into a wholly different facet that satisfied their innocent understanding and humour. Let’s save at least one bastion of our heritage from dumbing down to the level of the gutter!

Parts of the theatre publishing industry are seeing their largest business growth in the pantomime sector. There are some great new writers and new works out there which are fresh and original BUT, not all have a keen eye on traditional structure, story, humour and presentation. I would simply say, shop around. Don’t stick with the same stack of dusty scripts you have in a cupboard. Equally, trendy and clever hardly ever works. If a script needs to add in weird and wonderful plot devices, characters or scenes that have nothing to do with the story, give them a wide berth.

So, keep it simple, involve the kids at every opportunity, blend traditional with contemporary references and twists and you have the potential for success. But the actual success lies in the delivery and understanding that panto delivery, phrasing and audience reaction are like nothing else in theatre that a performer will ever, could ever do. And taking it all for granted and assuming you are funny are the two big killers!

And don’t ever forget…it’s behind you!